


Caresses of the Rain

by eukkyun



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chains, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Language, Fear, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Relationship(s), Sad, Slow Burn, Soulmates, soft, soul chain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21654118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eukkyun/pseuds/eukkyun
Summary: Kihyun had an austere life, plain and simple as it was, he didn’t do much outside his diary chores, and his studies, while dealing with the great amount of activeness from his soulmate. Whoever it was had lots of switchbacks, as well as lovers. Why was he supposed to know everything, even that his soulmate didn’t want to love him back?Turning grey day by day, being burned from the heat or the cold… why did he have to feel all of that?
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Im Changkyun | I.M & Lee Jooheon, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 21
Kudos: 71





	1. Morning Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is Eukkyun, this is my first work on here, and I loved reading soulmate stories and wanting to try myself.  
> So I hope you like it.  
> Also, and even though it is not an excuse, English is my 2nd language, I had to look up some words that had no exact translation, so I don't think it happened, but if there is any word meaning that seems a bit off, I would absolutely love to know, so I can do better. Thank you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm slowly changing the "—" to quotes, so maybe by now you can see some chapters that are different tahn other, but don't worry, the content hasn't changed

No coffee machine, no aesthetic mug, just him and a simple glass full of hot water and a little packet of instant cappuccino, careful not to spill the content out, he dredged it over the water. The room was cold, and his hands trembled as he moved the teaspoon mixing, powder fell into the dining room table. His hands quickly took a napkin to clean it up. Then he proceeded to have his small breakfast.

Still cold on the outside, his legs pressed together as he shivered. He looked over to the small indoor terrace next to the sofa. —Dining room, living room and terrace all merged on the flat—. The rain was sticking into the thick glass and sliding down the window. Suddenly his vision felt blurred, the windows and the sofa no longer sharp, instantly he closed his eyes, knowing what was coming at that exact moment. The pain of the stabs cramping all his body, he pressed his hand onto his left eye, trying not to yell in pain. It burned, burned like hell. As if someone was trying to shove the fire from a blowtorch into his retina. The tears started to fall down his cheeks, as the pain increased powerfully. His other hand moved around the table, knocking the glass of coffee on its way to find the phone. Whining he took it when he felt in on his hand, he desperately needed to dial someone, whoever could come the fastest to his house.

It wasn’t worth it, if he couldn’t open his eyes, calling was very complicated, the pain wasn’t helping at all, but he could not do anything else, so he hit his head onto the table, brow first and groan loudly, even his neighbours could be hearing him. This pain was very different from what he felt other times. Maybe it was the moment he would be finally free, or maybe his other eye was the next to bother him. 

The pressure on his eyes wasn’t enough for it to stop, but time did help. He stopped sobbing, he withdrew the fingers from his lid, trying to open his eyes. Now his vision was blurred but by the salty water coming from his own eyes. The pain was slowly going away, becoming bearable.

He looked to his side and saw all the coffee and small pieces of the crystal all over the floor. Everything spilt. He sighed as he got up shaking, and walked to the bathroom, looking very tired, much more than before, so much that he had to hold onto the wall so he could walk on a straight line.

He blinked twice before focusing on his reflexion on the mirror as he got into the bathroom. He bent over the sink to have his eye on full display on the mirror. His once fully black coloured eye was lighter than before. From the pupil to the outer ring of the iris grey lines were drown, covering almost all of it, very little black left to see.

Maybe that meant that his soulmate was finally rejecting him, breaking their bond. He didn’t or couldn’t know why they had been losing their connection but that was one of the plausible reasons.

At first, when the pain and the lines started to appear, he thought that he was dying and was going to be saved from university, but when he went to the doctor, it was a completely different story, even the doctor felt sad for him. That was the precious mark his body decided to show as the representation of his soulmate rejection.

After he was fully recovered from the pain, that probably the other knew he felt. He looked again at himself on the mirror, sad and tired countenances painful to look at, he sighed and went to open the first drawer on the sink and took out his colour lenses. Something like the eyes, so visible and so open, like crystal, could tell everything about him, even without realising it. He had to hide it. He glared at himself for a second before exiting the bathroom, to clean the mess from the dining room.

He felt not only tired but sad, a weight on his shoulder and his chest that he couldn’t exactly describe. Still, he had to make his way onto the library and a simple pain of the soul was nothing that could stop him from doing his homework and study for the next 6 hours. 

After jumping inside the most comfortable clothes he saw, that matched the sleepy and damp weather, he left the house ready for the horrible Saturday that was to come. He had to walk to the other side of the city to the public library. As he walked his feet felt wet, also his springy scarf, that caressed his cheeks and neck.

At the entrance of the library, he trampled his feet on the doormat, then swiped his feet a little more before heading off the stairs to the third floor. His feet were heavy and stiff from the outside cold, but the library warmness helped him heat up a little bit.

The third floor resemble the other floors of the building, this one tall as two floors of space, with thousands of books in dark brown oak bookshelves tall to the ceiling, stairs all over the place, the rest were lamps near the bookshelves and the tables in the centre of the space, surrounded by books, a beautiful sight, if you went to spend the time, not to study.

It the most isolated part of the floor, on the back of it, there were some tables next to the windows, bookshelves circling from all angles except for the little entrance. A quiet place, far from the other students, a warm and familiar place, where the books hugged him, it felt like home.

It was heart-warming.

He sat on one of the old chairs and took some of his books, his computer, pencil-case and a notebook out of the giant schoolbag he had to drag around every day. However, he liked his old schoolbag, and his notes from class, he even liked to spend the time studying, it distracted him from… the things that bothered him.

He sighed as he took off his wet scarf and threw it on his left over the sill of the window, which was low placed, more or less the height of his thighs while sitting, maybe a little higher. Next, he took out his coat and put it on the backrest of the chair. Then he was going to stretch and prepare for the backache that was to come, but he was interrupted by a soft voice that went “knock, knock” while tapping on the wood.

Kihyun looked up from the table to stare at the tall figure in front of him. Long and slender body, long legs and arms, as well as the hair, deep black, a bit curly on the ends, with the light, coming from his back, leaving a dark shadow on his face he couldn’t tell, but knew there was a thick fringe covering half his face, from the start of the brow to his eyes. The guy's plumped lips curved into a little smile, visible as he moved to sit in front of Kihyun.

"Hyungwon" Kihyun whispered as he smiled a bit while looking at his beautiful eyes, black as the night sky without stars. HyungWon looked back at him with tired eyes, even when it was 9 in the morning his eyes always tended to look tired.

"Hi Kihyun" He crossed his longs legs covered on black suit pants, Kihyun saw he also was wearing dress shoes and high black socks. He looked so formal when dressing. His upper body on the contrary… a big long sleeve white suit shirt, very loose, and bigger than his actual body. Then a few long but discrete necklaces ornated his neck.

"How are you doing?" HYunwon whispered leaning into the table so the other could hear him.

"It is 9 in the morning of a Saturday, and I have work" he whispered back with a tone of nuisance on his voice.

"Of course" Kihyun smiled again, this time with his full face and even let out a titter. "Yes, of course, who would want to spend a Saturday working? Still, it is better than studying."

"I did enough of that if you remember, and I still have to" he sighed lowering his faces and cross his arms over his chest.

"I’m so glad I didn’t choose to study library science" He went back to sit straight and started his computer.

Both talked for a few minutes more about their days and Hyungwon moaned about his job, which Kihyun didn’t understand as he was there sitting with him instead of working. Everything going as usual, both were long-time friends and studied together some classes at university until Hyungwon finished and Kihyun decided to go for a second degree. At one-point, Hyungwon stopped listening to himself and stared at Kihyun’s neck. He felt the gaze over his visible skin and moved on his sit with discomfort.

"How’s the person doing? " Hyungwon asked with biting eyes.

"I don’t know" Kihyun said then cleared his throat, he suddenly felt it dry.

"Did something happen, or it is just the same?" Hyungwon was very serious and kept looking at Kihyun.

In Kihyun’s neck, there was a thin chain, it looked like a necklace, but everyone knew that it wasn’t. It was the soulmate chain, the one everyone had, in one or other form. The majority had a bracelet or anklet-bracelet, others had rings or tiaras, some people, as Kihyun had a necklace… it was one of the most unique ones, maybe you could get to see one person in a lifetime with a soulmate chain necklace. Here it was, the one person in a lifetime with the necklace.

The soulmate chains had something special to them, they weren’t just chains. They replicated a variety of your soulmate emotions. At that moment Kihyun’s necklace and Hyungwon’s bracelet was just plain chains loose on their skin, which meant that their soulmates were in a peace state or happy.

"The usual" Kihyun didn’t want to tell his friend, his best friend, about how he thought he could be blind after the eye-ache.

"I hope so" Hyungwon extended his right arm towards Kihyun hand, that he had on the collar of his sweatshirt. He took the little hand on his and caress it with his palm. "Do you want to come tonight to my place?"

Hyungwon looked desperate, looking at Kihyun praying for him to smile. The shorter one smiled again looking at him right in the eyes and nodded.

After that and a bit more of conversation, Hyungwon left to work. Kihyun didn’t want him to go, but he had to study for the exams, had to concentrate himself on solely that, nothing about soulmates, or burning eyes, only his notes and him.


	2. Wet Scarf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is 5 am and I'm regretting doing this at this hour.  
> Hope you enjoy the reading
> 
> I added some tags, better if you look them up, as they are important to the storyline, for example, I added: sad, pain... etc.  
> so better to be warned, as they weren't there before

It had been over five and a half hours when Kihyun started to feel dizzy and his brow was warm to the touch as if his engine was overworking. He looked at the papers in front of him and thought about how was that he couldn’t take the study hours, when he usually could take up to 7, that leading him to think about his eyes under the coloured lenses, that not even Hyungwon noticed he wore. And about how he didn’t take a sip of the coffee before he spilt it all over the wood floor, and then left, without eating anything at all, at the thought of the coffee his stomach whined, pleading for food.

So Kihyun looked at the time on the computer.

It was the perfect time to go eat something and get some fresh air, maybe also something for the annoying headache. He took the schoolbag back up and put his computer inside. Then he put on the coat and the scarf, leaving his notes there, waiting for him.

When he stepped out, of that little home of his, there was no Hyungwon to be seen. So, he left as fast as he could to get some food. He prepared his scarf to do the job of a hood— it was a long and wide scarf, so it was easy for him to do cover his hair and forehead— Then he saw from the windows of the entrance that outside was heavily raining, something that he didn’t notice before.

The aroma from the rain pouring into the streets, how humid everything felt, cold installing into every corner as if it owned it, Kihyun’s heart run slower, like small steps of a heartbeat as the water fell from the sky. In the entrance of the library, there was a little arcade, where he stopped and looked up to the sky, some lost little drop of water hit his cheekbone. It felt fresh, cold at the touch, but as it rolled down until disappearing it was as an old feeling as if the rain had kissed his skin with the slightest touch, just a peck of the water goddess to his pale cheek.

He liked the rain, not as an all-year thing, but he liked autumn and the falling leaves and the rainstorms that formatted on that specific geographical place. It remembered him of the town he liked to visit, where some of his family lived, and where he liked to go to see an old park full of vegetation, and a broken fountain and witness how the water accumulated on the pool of the fountain, and the colours of the nature reflected on it, it was such a beautiful view.

As he trailed on his thoughts, he had no specific tack That is why he ended up in the bus stop, under the caressing of the rooftop that it had. He didn’t know where to head from there, the cold was getting to him, making his headache get worse. The screen to his right said that one bus would arrive in ten minutes, the number 7, which route went over a restaurant area nearby. Going there would do wonders to him.

As the rain only went on crescendo while he waited, more people got into the bus stop, overflowing it, to the point Kihyun ended up in the corner by pushes of random people appearing. He was against the inside corner, feeling overwhelmed and pressed. He at first didn't think it was really bothering, but everyone has their limits.

The heat from all the bodies around him, his head-ache, and the lack of fresh air made his body react, his mouth fell open and he started breathing heavily, the person, that was giving him his back and pushing him even more, heard his breathing and quickly got away a bit creeped out, but it was enough for Kihyun that started to collapse while he just tried to fake normal breathing, he was scared of the looks people began to give him. The middle-aged man pushed everyone to leave space for Kihyun, not to help him, but to not get infected from the horrendous illness Kihyun seemed to suffer. Kihyun looked at the screen again, trying not to feel the other’s stares, and then tried to move his feet near the road, the bus was getting into the parking. He thanked God a thousand times as he got as fast as he could on the bus, leaving all those shocked people behind him. No one that had been on the stop entered the bus after him, and no so many people were on the bus from before, so he sat on the back, and tried to relax his breathing, taking deep breaths. He didn’t exactly know if what he had was a panic attack, anxiety, or just self-defence, a tic learnt thanks to the soulmate-chain

Having a necklace as soulmate-chain wasn’t “comfortable” — no chain was meant to be comfortable— but some of the chain’s activity, which reflected their soulmates feelings, wasn’t exactly thought to happen near a neck. There were more than one and two times that he choked until he passed out because of that shitty stupid chain that turned him into a stupid simple and embittered person.

Kihyun unconsciously drew a hand to the chain and began to caress the metal in his thumb and index, while he looked with the saddest and red eyes he could have, at the window, waiting for his stop to come and have a little peace and food for the day.

▲▲▲

The food at one of his most visited restaurants, was, as always, delicious. He had his cheeks filled with food and, his body relaxing while his stomach felt full. Kihyun got time to think of other things rather than sadness and pain when he got into the place and saw the funny pair that were working there. Gunhee and Seo-Hyon, the couple who run that restaurant. Gunhee, Kihyun’s acquaintance, wasn’t a guy of conversation himself, which he liked. Kihyun felt very intimidated by his facial features, very sharp on the jaw, lips and eyes, that made him look like he wanted to sell you to the mafia, but he was one of the best people Kihyun could know, another thing he liked about him.

“Enjoy some food, you little hamster” Gunhee had said, and Kihyun just smiled a little, and looked at Seo-Hyon that puffed out her cheeks to look like a squirrel or hamster of some kind, then went back to work.

Food brings relaxation to our bodies, Kihyun knew well, a full stomach could help everyone. His Zhajiang Mian was delicious, and his mind was empty, just thoughts of the beautiful photos exposed on the restaurant walls, and to ask Gunhee where they were taken, and visit sometime.

He wasn’t sad all the time, even though his life was pretty sad on its own, as he spent most of his time studying, studying with Hyungwon by his side, giving him help on some literature matters, or crying in his room. Kihyun’s stomach twisted at the thought of it. But over-all he didn’t feel as he was on a rainy mood every day.

But that day was one of the sad and distressing ones.

—Gunhee— Kihyun called as he saw the other pass by.

Gunhee stopped his feet and looked at him with the kindest look of all. Then proceeded to sit in front of Kihyun, on the other side of the little table.

—Do you want the rest as take out? — Gunhee asked with his arms crossed and leaning into the table, his eyes on Kihyun’s.

—No, I think today is a good day to end the whole thing here. — He moved his hand heavily over the chopsticks and took them on his hand. — What I wanted is… I was wondering…

Kihyun’s thoughts went in a flash to the day Gunhee met Seo-Hyon, at the restaurant when it was from Gunhee’s parents, and he was starting as a chef and waiter. He wasn’t there that day, but Gunhee had told him and Hyungwon when they went there.

—I would love to hear again how you met your soulmate— Kihyun didn’t stop his mouth from spilling the sentence.

It was surely not the best day to hear about others love stories when he was so affected by his own, but the cuteness and innocence in Gunhee’s story never failed to lift his spirits. He looked down at his bowl full of noodles, then at Gunhee who didn’t even flinch.

—Kihyun, are you ok? — Kihyun averted Gunhee’s eyes that met him with concern. As always Gunhee irradiated warmth… but Kihyun wasn’t completely sure if he wanted to talk that out.

There wasn’t anything special in his day that made it no different from the others, apart from his eyes, that didn’t occur to him that much, it was more of a sporadic thing, but this that time was the worse, still, he hadn’t told anyone about it, it was his little secret. Not even Hyungwon knew about it. Still, he wondered: “why is everything happening? Is it the bus stop incident? Are both the problem? Is it that I was hungry?” What was it that made him feel unease in that special day? From others view it was obvious that he had what it could be called a shitty day.

He was feeling nervous about the question, he didn’t want to be dramatic, people had their own dramas, and his were no different, no one would prioritize his problems over their own… no one except for his soulmate, he guessed, but he didn’t know his soulmate, and honestly, he didn’t want to.

—Today is one of those days that I feel I don’t want a soulmate— Kihyun whispered more to himself than to Gunhee, maybe it was that, that he didn’t want a soulmate. A soulmate that was probably feeling their chain penetrate his skin with cold as sadness consumed Kihyun’s mind and body.

—Well, I have work to do, another day it may be that I tell you my story. Don’t worry, it will be sooner than later, you know I love to brag about my soulmate— Gunhee got up and went as fast as he could without running on his perfectly clean clothes to the client reception.

Kihyun sighed, feeling a little pressure on his chest.

Some people were entering, everyone was eating at that time, he figured that he didn’t pay much attention, if he did, he would have noticed how full the restaurant was, at the rush hour. He gave another look and saw a guy that had his ankle up and, without changing a bit his expression, moved up and down a chain.

After a few minutes, Kihyun had finally finished his bowl, and was ready to pay the bill and go back to study, or contemplate the water fall down the windows, depending on how down his body felt after such a wonderful lunch. He stared for a second at the time on the clock on the wall, almost three, and then beneath the clock, a table, and in the table the guy, who was still moving around his soulmate chain. Now easier for him, as he was sitting, and had his right leg crossed over the left one and his jeans were a bit pulled up for the chain to be visible.

Kihyun took all his things and put his still wet scarf over his shoulders. He walked past the guy and peeked a bit to see, the chain had some frost on it, meaning his soulmate probably was feeling very down, and sad. Kihyun hoped the guy was there waiting for his lover to appear and comfort them. As he wished he had a lover that would help him through his daily life.

Because no matter how many times he told himself that he didn’t want his soulmate, as he said to Gunhee a few minutes before, deep inside he wanted his soulmate to find him, to embrace him love him, and be with him and no other, he was raised like that and even though he wanted to change it, it was very difficult. It is always difficult to change something so ingrained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any grammar or spelling error will be corrected before the publication of the next chapter.  
> Being the hour it is I don't know how I could even double-check errors.
> 
> Question: do you want a chapter summary, or prefer the adventure or knowing what is going to happen?


	3. Cold Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year!!  
> a bit late but still
> 
> Hope you like the first chapter of the year

He was sitting on a big armchair in his apartment’s studio. The light was soft and warm orange which helped him see as the natural light of the sun was disappearing over the horizon. The sun was setting, and he knew he had already spent the whole evening reading a book.

That interesting book he had bought in the bookstore near his parent’s house. It took his attention when he was wandering over the back of the old bookshop, in the fiction section. It was giant, with hard dark covers, painted in black and blue with the big title in golden letters and beautiful writing _“between the Sorrow and the Rain”_. 

He took his glasses off and blinked until his eyes could focus on the window on the other side of the room. He left the book back on his wooden desk delicately, with the page bookmarked.

He went to the bathroom with the necessity to pee— he had been sitting for at least four hours until he got up— so he got shiver telling him to go to the toilet in that exact moment.

After he had washed his hand and dry them with the towel, he began to ask himself what could he do on his day off? He had already been to the gym; the whole morning. He already ate; he went to a restaurant at lunchtime. He had already read; almost half of the book Collecting his thoughts about the day he entered the living room and looked at the small TV. watching a movie was a possibility, but… it would only get him distracted for a few hours before he felt bored again. It was almost a quarter past eight, and he had nothing to do. Maybe eat something more, of course, he could, he loved to eat.

With a sigh, he changed his direction towards the Kitchen while he cleaned his glassed with the white t-shirt he had on. He wasn’t in the mood to prepare anything very complicated so that he opened one of the upper shelves of the kitchen and took out instant ramen, a classic on his opinion., then some random casserole and filled with water, ready to heat, and prepared some cheese and eggs to complete the dish.

Looking at water only will make it take more time to boil so he turned his eyes away and into his phone which was on the other side of the kitchen on a table, getting charged. He unplugged it and looked at his new messages sitting on the chair beside the tables, one foot under his butt.

The first one was his workgroup chat, where they discussed their projects and client needs. Not much was going on besides the team chief had named him to inform him he would have to visit one of the clients for them to sign and learn about their new policies and administrative changes. It wasn’t that much, the client was one of the oldest in the company, and he was his project of marketing, it was his thing, he decided he would go the next week. The chat answered with a brief _“ok”._

He wasn’t really into this new _thingy_ called technology better worded: phones. That was why he just used an old phone for work, or when needed. The rest of the time the phone was left on the kitchen getting dust. He didn’t have any games, nor social media apps, no music, and no photos, except from the work-related and one or two he managed to download from their friend’s chat. Maybe a secret video or two on the hidden galleria, but nothing more.

The chat that he had in front of him was left half-read as he went back on making his dinner when he was able to look again, he set an alarm for his ramen. He continued reading, his friend sent almost 10 messages insisting that he pick up the phone to confirm if he would party that night.

“Boy

Boy

Boy

Boy

Pick up the phone

Pick up the phoneeeeee

Want to go party tonight?

It’s gonna be a lag”

The messages said.

He balanced his options but was quick to dismiss every other boring idea from his head. He wanted a distraction, and that was the best opportunity for the whole night. He answered with a simple _“yes”,_ his friend reply was almost instant, sending him the time and location to meet him.

It didn’t take him too much time to get ready. He just threw on some lose classic jeans with a t-shirt and a jacket, ready to party. It was eleven o’clock when he left his house and took the path to the club.

The night was kind of cold, the sky was full of dark clouds tinted in orange by the city lights, the streets were also painted in colourful bright lights and people were all around giving an atmosphere of warmness even though it was freezing. His destination waited. One of the many clubs that conformed the street, made for partying and what is not partying, was almost in front of him, but he already could hear the loud music from inside, he could smell the sweat of those who were leaving the place.

As he was reaching the club’s door, which had an enormous sign with the name on it _“insomnio”_ on beautiful blue and pink neon lights. He got distracted by looking at the sign, and with that, he from the side saw his friend. Easy to tell apart from his white hair, that made him look like an anime character. He was wearing his signature black jeans and a simple shirt and jacket, just like him, but he felt more stylish than he did. His dark black boots were giant and made him move his feet on the ground, with his light dark blue sneakers.

Seunghoon approached him just after he let his cigarette slip from his finger to the ground and took a step on it to turn it off. His sharp eyes met his and turned into the smiliest eyes he had ever seen, that was his friend, a bit smaller than him, and a year younger, he looked reckless and intimidating, but he was all smiles and funny cute.

Seunghoon greeted him first

  * Oh, look a little bear, Hyunwoo!” — He slapped his left arm.



His breath hit Hyunwoo’s face making him look away and dodge the smell of nicotine. Seunghoon apologized, he was suddenly holding strawberry gums, and getting one in his mouth.

Hyunwoo waved it off and took his friends wrist to lead him inside.

While they were waiting for their drinks, Hyunwoo’s mind had the image of his friend strawberry gums.

Strawberry was her breath when she talked to him, and he fell for her and her gummy breath. She was so pretty and delicate, and her kind and childlike smile. The way she walked down the corridor of their office, how she looked inside his office to wink at him as a “hello”. How she always gave him strawberry gums after lunch, when he forgot his toothbrush and panicked over his horrible breath.

He didn’t want to think about her, and how his heart sank as an old pirate boat in deep waters. He felt so wrong whenever he thought about her, and how she moved her soulmate ring on her right hand, and how bad he wanted to try and get that ring in his long fingers and how she would take off his ankle bracelet. He was so deep in her waters. Love wanted to take him prisoner, but he didn’t know if his feelings were reciprocal, and that hurt.

When he could finally leave his thoughts aside was after the third drink. Just at the same time his senses were clouded, he drank so fast, he couldn’t handle himself when he wanted to distract himself.

—Slow down a bit— Seunghoon took Hyunwoo’s wrist when he was about to drink the fourth one in just two sips. —I don’t want you to die tonight.

His voice sounded not too worried. It was his friend, he would be worried if something bad happened, not when he could still help Hyunwoo stop.

—… tonight? Another day you would want me to die? — He said as he tried to dodge his friend hand and drink from his vodka and lemon kas.

—I would never, please… unless…— Seunghoon teased him, making him smile, some much and so wide. —How would I live without my dearest and plushiest teddy bear— Seunghoon pinched his cheek and laughed.

His lips were curved up, and his teeth were showing, his cheeks and neck were dark pink, from the heat of the club, were lots of people danced and talked while drinking in that dark and sensual room.

His thoughts about his co-worker were under the carpet, left to get dust until he woke up again the next morning.

After more and more drinks that came along the way, one girl, not as drunk as Hyunwoo placed one hand on his shoulder to take his attention. He smiled at her with pink cheeks and lovely almost closed eyes. She looked so pretty, it reminded him of his co-worker —with beautiful big lips and eyes—, The girl smiled back, her lips were dark blue, her eye shadow was the same colour, and make her dark eyes pop so beautifully. Her lips moved telling Hyunwoo something he couldn’t quite decipher, so he leaned onto her and put his ear near her, telling her to repeat.

Her lips slightly touched his skin, making his body react with a shiver down his spine.

“Do you want to dance?” she said in a happy voice, it wasn’t sensual or dark-toned, and he liked that. He liked when he wasn’t approached to do other certain things. He wasn’t even usually approached by girls or boys he just spent the time with his friends and drank if he wanted to, but that time was one of the lucky times. And he was down for it.

Hyunwoo made a sign to his friend, who was taking a selfie and checking his hair on the phone, as he liked to do most of the time, Seunghoon gave him a funny face and winked at him, making clear he thought he was going to get laid. Hyunwoo laughed at the idea while she was led into the dance floor but the girl.

She was so tall, a bit more than him, her body was full of curves her tight dress highlighting as luminous signs, while they danced, they had fun, they didn’t touch too much, and made curious dances, her smile didn’t leave her face and Hyunwoo was feeling happy, but still something in him wasn’t in place, maybe it was the alcohol or it was the thoughts of the girl he worked with, but something felt so off.

Until the girl, almost and the end of the night kissed Hyungwoo passionately on the lips and made her way down to his neck. Hyunwoo was more drank than before, and he hoped she was at least a bit too, so they were on fair conditions. Hyunwoo followed her rhythm and kissed back, also made some marks on her neck, as she did on him. He felt hot on his body, and knew that Seunghoon wasn’t wrong, he was going to get laid.

—Bathroom, your place, or mine— she suggested grabing Hyunwoo’s waist and pushing him a bit away so she could look at him in the eyes.

—Which one is closer? — he said in a low voice, then kissing her chin— That is not the bathroom — he smiled, and cleaned the blue on her chin, that he transferred from his lips.

Before they got off the club they searched for their group of friends and tell they were leaving. He didn’t want her friends to think anything bad happened to her. Seunghoon nodded with approval at his friend saying goodbye and told him he was also leaving as he had to take his brother to something he didn’t understand, so he was leaving early.

When they hit Hyunwoo’s home which was way closer to the club. 

They had sex.

They had sex while Hyunwoo ignored how cold tight his soulmate chain was against his ankle, cutting off circulation and bothering him painfully. In his chest pain and sadness, but he pushed it aside.

When sleep took him, the last thing he felt before entering the sleep realm was the weight of his limbs multiplied. The only other thing, the ghost of cold hands over his body.

In the morning the girl and he woke up almost at the same time, she talked to him for a bit while dressing up, before waving goodbye and leaving the house, while Hyunwoo was still on the bed.

He led his eyes to the ceiling of his room and tried to move his hand to his forehead, which was full of sweat. His house had always been very warm, even though he loved the warmest of it at that moment felt excessive.

He felt a pressure in his gut, and his mind made the connections as quickly as he could. His eyes went impossibly open, as he tried to force his arms and legs to obey him and move, but he couldn’t.

He was just lying there, with panic on his chest, and oxygen not being enough to keep him alive. His senses going numb in every part of his body except for the most sensible, which were the worst of all, like as a punishment, he could only get to feel the coldness of the steel in his ankle, so cold it burned his skin, it pained so bad.

No finger could he move, no movement could he make.

His soul chain yelling at him without words and he wanted to yell back.

Again, the only thing he could feel when he closed his eyes tightly. Cold hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hyunwoo be like a Mecano song 
> 
> "hoy no me puedo levantar, el fin de semana me dejó fatal"  
> ( i can't get up today, the weekend made me trash)


	4. vanilla hot chocolate

The café was plain grey with some splashes of dark brown wood on the furniture and occasionally on the tables and walls soft pink drawings. Tables perfectly placed in thorough order. The big windows on the storefront and the crystal doors helped give the place a natural light and a feeling of spaciousness. In the very back of the place, there was an open door, on both side of it big windows that displayed on the other side how a few cats played.

It was Sunday and the café was very lonely. Only two people inside. At the bar stood a young man, decoloured whitish hair, a thin but little muscular figure hidden behind his sport clothing and apron. Eyes fixed on his phone as he frowned, he kept on smashing the screen very fast. On the other side of the café, behind the back door, and no visible from the windows, there was another guy, this, bigger and more muscular than the first, with big round eyes also wearing sport clothes. He was cleaning some cushions that some cat had dirtied. Dark hair locks over his concentrated pouting face.

_Tilín, tilín_

The first door closed and the second one, that lead inside— Two doors prepared in case any cat tried to go on adventures— opened. The guy on the bar lifted his head to see the two men that came inside.

—Hyungs! — The guy said happily as he put his phone down and motioned a _“hi”_ with his head.

The two guys looked at him and smiled going to sit by the bar, on the tall stools. They took off their coats, the shorter of the two left his bag on the floor, while the other only had his coat with him. They both had pale skin. The tall one dark circles beneath his eyes, an expression of full sleepiness, that wasn’t strange on him but felt different from other times. The short one had his skin way paler than normal and his eyes were puffy and red as if he had an infection on them.

—Can I ask what happened to you both? Hyungwon? —He stopped smiling, in his heart a tug that left him worried for his friends. Hyungwon looked up from the black coat he was placing behind his butt on the stool.

Hyungwon had on his small eyes a profoundly tired stare. He glanced at Kihyun for a moment. He did the same and stared at Kihyun. Kihyun didn’t lift his face or body. As if something was pressuring his shoulders trying to wreck him.

—What about drinking some hot vanilla chocolate? — He said turning around, his mind rushed to find where everything was, and start to prepare two drinks for his friends. He knew a few moments ago where he left everything but suddenly everything was erased from his memory. His thoughts were only on doing something for Kihyun, something that could lift him up a bit, even if it was only to make him feel physically better after eating.

As fast as he could he started preparing the hot chocolate, while throwing glances at Kihyun who was now looking outside, his eyes unfocused. That hurt his heart so bad. It hadn’t rained the whole day, it was in the afternoon and the streets, although discoloured by the lack of direct sunlight, were starting to dry.

Kihyun with his faces turned, sighed as little drops of rain started to stick themselves to the windows, and the sound of water falling started to fill the place little by little.

—Here you go— He gave one of the big mugs to Kihyun trying to distract him from the sound of the rain. Then the other mug to Hyungwon, who touched the back of his hand on the process.

—Thank you Jooheon — said Kihyun looking directly at him and giving him a tired smile, trying to look ok.

Jooheon was even more broken to see his friend like that. The tall librarian moved to fix the neck of Kihyun’s hoodie. It was Hyungwon’s red hoodie, that was way bigger than Kihyun. That meant that they had been together for the night. Hyungwon finished adjusting his clothing, Jooheon opened his eyes to their limits when he saw the white dressing on his friend’s neck.

—Oh my god, what happened? — He said running to the other side of the bar.

He placed both of his hand on Kihyun cold cheeks. He looked down, again to the white dressing on his skin, all the way around his neckline, beneath his necklace. He didn’t dare to touch even his shoulders, afraid of hurting him. His hands on the cheeks of the other, his thumbs caressing his pale skin as Kihyun sighed and pressed his face more into his hands.

—It has been a rough night Joohoney— He said covering his hands on his smaller and colder ones — Don’t worry about it, it stopped hurting a while ago, and the dressing is because Hyungwon doesn’t want the burns to leave a mark — he laughed a little.

It wasn’t by any mean amusing but Kihyun laughed delicately, his heart beat hard that time, and he felt the electricity on his chest. He was way worried, no leave it like that.

—It’s not like I want to, it’s a medical procedure you… — Hyungwon put his elbow on the bar and looked angrily at Kihyun, Jooheon left his friend cheeks alone and stepped to his side to look at Hyungwon. He looked worried, so worried about his friend. He didn’t finish the sentence, probably some bad word was coming after that.

—Yes, true, sorry —Kihyun said taking a sip of his vanilla hot chocolate.

Jooheon wanted to ask him so bad what exactly happened and when did it happen. Still, he had an idea. It wasn’t the first time he saw the other in that gaunted conditions. His friendship with Kihyun was old. He met Hyungwon a few years before when Kihyun took him to the opening of the cat-café. But he knew Kihyun from he was a kid, he saw him like that way more times than anyone should.

—What happened Kihyun? — his mouth was faster than his brain, as many other times.

Kihyun moved on the stool and took the mug on his hands. He wasn’t very comfortable.

—You can imagine, someone seems had a good night while I almost gave Hyungwon a heart attack— Kihyun moved his eyes away from the mug and back into the window turning his neck too much, but he didn’t mind enduring a little more of pain.

Jooheon’s suppositions weren’t wrong. Jooheon knew Kihyun from his childhood and saw many times how Kihyun was burnt by his soulmate chain, and it was with him that they guessed that there was no way that his soulmate was angry, sure about that when they saw the pattern on the times and days it happened. They didn’t care his soulmates was _that_ sexually active, but still, it hurt Kihyun, and that also hurt Jooheon.

—This time was way worse than the others. I had to take him to the hospital —Hyungwon added with a yawn.

Jooheon was looking at both of them. He couldn’t even imagine what a hell of a night they had. He wished he could help his friend, as he always told him when they were kids. Jooheon told Kihyun so many times that he would find the way to destroy that stupid necklace that did him so bad, still, he hadn’t found any way. He looked down and then at Kihyun’s figure, so little and vulnerable underneath Hyungwon’s clothes. He remembered meeting him when he was ten, and how amazing Kihyun looked, he thought he was one of the cool guys at the school, when he saw that that was far from reality he didn’t feel not even near disappointed because that meant that he had one of the best people on the world by his side, and only for him. He smiled at the thought and looked back at Kihyun. He brushed his dark hair with his left hand and bent to peck his cheek.

Kihyun let out a surprised whimper. He liked when Jooheon was so clingy out of the blue. Jooheon knew it was making Kihyun feel better, so he kept giving the other kisses on the cheek, To the point, the other laughed saying he was tickling him. Hyungwon smiled too, a fond smile that warmed his heart. They were the best friend in the world, and he would do anything for them. He had to take care of him, he would, with Hyungwon by his side, they would take care of his little friend, and bathe him with love until he was all sunshine. So why press sad thoughts onto Kihyun about his tired and hurt looks if he was trying to avoid it by laughing.

Jooheon then remembered that they weren’t alone, and left his friends drinking his chocolate while he went to the back of the store.

—Hoseok — He said as he entered the big coloured room where the other guy was. A cat run to him and Jooheon took it on his arms while looking around smiling. His dimples on display as the cat started purring.

—Yes— Hoseok appeared from behind a corner.

—I want you to meet someone— Hoseok was surprised, but he followed his boss as they went to the front of the café.

The sound of the back door was heard making Hyungwon and Kihyun turn to see. From the door, after Jooheon a tall guy came out and looked at them with a curious face. Hyungwon looked up and down at him. He had dark brown short hair with some locks over his forehead, his eyes dark brown as well, broad and strong shoulders also strong arms and _everything_ , he was built. But he seemed minuscule under his watchful eyes.

—I want you to meet my friends. — Jooheon motioned for him to come by his side as he was still by the door— This is Hoseok — he put his arm over the other shoulder, the cat moving on his other hand. — These are my friends, the beautiful librarian: Hyungwon.

Hyungwon bowed as a prince and blushed a bit at the introduction. Hoseok smiled slightly at him and nodded. Jooheon let the cat on the floor, and the little brown hairball run to sit on a sofa by the front window to sleep.

—And this is the beautiful, amazing, great cook, wise as an encyclopaedia: Kihyun — Jooheon introduced then making Kihyun laugh out loud.

—Nice to meet you Hoseok —he smiled wider and nodded again.

—A pleasure to meet you too— he said, his hands pressed together, a bit uncomfortable.

—Hoseok is the new addition to the cat café, he also helps at the animal shelter, right?

Jooheon tried to keep the conversation going. Hoseok was going to be part of his friends too, apart from being his worker, and of course, he wanted to meet his other friends. Also, he knew that Hoseok wouldn’t introduce himself even if he pushed him to do it. He was very shy.

The thoughts of them about Kihyun sadness disappeared as they kept talking about the animal shelter and how amazed they were as they saw that buffed guy with a cold look was after a few minutes an open and cheerful person which loved to talk.

After talking for a long time Hoseok felt something on his right leg, he looked down and took on his hand a little cat that had come to them. He left the door open when he came out. Jooheon looked at him with a disapproving look, but not angry.

—My baby… —Hyungwon said and extended his long and thin arms to take the cat.

Hoseok looked at Jooheon for approval that came right away.

—This is “Hyungwon’s cat” that little thing sleeps all the time and loves to do it on his lap.

—This cat is my soulmate — Hyungwon said with a smile. His stuffed cheeks were so cute on his face.

Hoseok went to close the back door just in case more cats wanted to come out, as when there weren’t many people, they tried to keep them on their place of the café, so they wouldn’t go around without them fully knowing.

Jooheon looked at him as he walked towards the door.

—Isn’t he the cutest thing ever? —Jooheon asked.

—Everything is cute for you — Kihyun answered simply.

Hyungwon didn’t even bother on listening to him as he walked to the other sofa, forgetting about his chocolate. He sat in the one next to the one the other cat was having fun on and lied there with the cat next to him, ready to nap.

Hoseok, who walked back next to Jooheon, had his eyes fixed on the tall figure that went to sleep just that easy, with the cat preparing himself to sleep between his long arm covered on a white sleeve and his warm chest. His eyes were already closed, and his lips parted. Jooheon saw him and smiled as he turned to Kihyun and lift his eyebrows insinuating to Kihyun who closed his eyes as he let the air leave through the nose. Jooheon laughed at that and they continued talking.

_Ring ring ring_

His phone was ringing on the other side of the room, on his jacket that was thrown on the floor the night before. It had been ringing the whole morning, and the afternoon. He had been in the same position the whole morning, he could not move, he was still as a rock o his bed. He didn’t eat, he didn’t go to the toilet. Nothing, he was peeing himself so bad, and still, he tried to move and couldn’t.

His eyes were watery from the pressure he put on his lids as he tried to move even one millimetre, but he couldn’t. his limbs numb the whole day.

The phone stopped ringing. He breathed heavily, he needed to pee, at this moment nothing more was important, one minute more and his bladder would explode.

He heard something happening on the other side of the house, but he was alone. The front door was being opened.

—Hyunwoo? — a voice asked. It was Seunghoon

—Seunghoon! Come I’m in my room. _Fast! —_ He shouted to the ceiling.

The steps of Seunghoon fast on the wood floor more audible as he was getting to the door. He entered loudly the room very agitated. Until he saw his friend on the bed, with the sheets over his chest, he could only see his head.

—What are you doing? I called you a hundred times! I thought something happened to you, for fuck's sake. —He yelled at Hyunwoo, who tried to look at his, but was getting dizzy as he had to force his eyes.

—I can’t get up — he said with a relaxed tone.

—What? —Seunghoon went to his side of the bed and put his arms in jugs. —get up.

—I can’t get up. — he repeated, closing his eyes, thinking he was really going to explode.

—How come? — his tone sceptical.

—I think my soulmate is trying to lose the connection. But I don’t know, it’s just a supposition I need to pee Seunghoon — He said imploring to Seunghoon with his eyes.

Seunghoon tried to get him up, but it was like Hyungwoo weighted five times more. Seunghoon couldn’t even get to move his arms, less could he get him to the bathroom. After half an hour had passed, he gave up.

—You’ll have to pee on a bottle, give me a minute to look for one — Seunghoon walked out of the room.

Hyunwoo at this point didn’t even care about it, he just wanted to die and end it. His ankle was cold as ice but burnt as if he had put salt with the eyes. His hand formed a fist, he felt so vulnerable, what would he do if his soulmate didn’t want him. What if she didn’t want him. He was sure she was his soulmate. He could feel when she was sad, that was often in the week. His heart couldn’t take the rejection. He wanted those thoughts to leave his mind. He moved his head side to side to throw them out. Then it hit him. He could move again. He jumped out of bed and run to the toilet. Leaving Seunghoon at his bedroom door with a water bottle without the upper part and some toilet paper and a puzzled look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hope you like this chapter.  
> I'm very thankful for the kudos, and the subscriptions, it means a lot to me that you like this, thank you very much. 
> 
> I don't know how I got time to write this, knowing I have exams, and that I am a bit down and worried about honey's health. Hope it didn't translate on the chapter feelings, and that you like it a lot.


	5. Burnt Skin

Kihyun stayed at Hyungwon’s for the night, compelling to Hyungwon’s desires. Because of that, they went there directly after Hyungwon work ended and spent a beautiful evening watching movies and eating snacks while cuddling into each other in a big white duvet Hyungwon had. 

Kihyun woke up in the [middle of the night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hx4TOIy902E) in Hyungwon’s bed, with him on the other side of it, hugging his pillow with the mouth ajar, facing him. He seemed to be deep in sleep, he didn’t even notice Kihyun walking out of bed and outside of the room with slow and heavy steps, leaving behind him the door almost closed.

He went into the living room, to take his water bottle from his bag, he was thirsty. Even though he could have taken tap water he didn’t like the taste. It stuck on the back of his throat and tongue, horrible, everything tasted like dirty pipes. Therefore, he always had his water bottle with him, refilling it everyday with bottled water from the supermarket.

He took a few sips.

He didn’t look at the clock when he woke up, it was obviously late in the night. After watching a movie and have something for dinner, they were already full after being the whole evening devouring everything in Hyungwon’s house in a few hours.

Kihyun went to the bathroom to take a look at his sleepy face on the mirror, he found himself having his hair everywhere. There the result of sleeping.

The light from the bathroom bright hanging from the ceiling. Shadows dancing over his face tired but relaxed. Kihyun felt relaxed, there was nothing special in his heart, a peace that he hoped lasted forever. Smiling at himself on his reflection, so calm. In the house, he couldn’t hear a sound, no even Hyungwon sleeping. And that was perfect, as if a cloud was under his feet, soft and delicate, raising him above the ground so he wouldn’t feel the cold white tiles of his friend’s bathroom.

It didn’t last long, after a few seconds more of himself admiring his own smile on the mirror, a sharp pain came crawling from the tip of his feet to his neckline, a rope around his neck blazed through the chain and into the skin. The metal on it moving along with his body as he bent to see better what happened on the mirror. Darting his eyes over his chest in panic.

In his mind a total shutdown. It was starting to itch while the burning feeling extended to the sides of his body, sharp, painful, full shot into his soul and body. The sink was right there in front of him. A groan came out of his mouth, kind of loud, but not enough for Hyungwon to hear and wake up. He lost total control of distances or strength, so he slapped the tap open.

He splashed water over his head, his neck, his old Hyungwon shirt. Why did it hurt so bad? Why? His brain going a hundred miles per hour as he tried and thought about beautiful things that had nothing to do with fire, with the invisible fire burning on his neck, that paused the time until it stopped, it hurt to the point his legs wanted to give up, leave him lying on the floor. Water again falling over him but not stopping the pain. He cried loudly.

Fast footsteps were heard over the corridor, low but clear, Hyungwon had woken up. He was running to the bathroom. His left arm appeared over the threshold the next second the rest of his body as he looked down at him, who was almost on the ground trying to get a handful of water from the sink as he screamed in pain, his smooth skin red and burnt, the shape of the chain forming holes on him.

—Oh lord, Kihyun! —The tall guy run to him at the right time to take him in his arms before his knees hit the hard floor. Kihyun put his hands on Hyungwon’s biceps to try and steady his body and get up.

Hyungwon made him sit on the floor while he opened the cabinets on the side of the sink to take out a few little towels, throwing them into water and them putting them between Kihyun’s skin and the chain burning the tip of his finger in the process.

—We going to the hospital right now, let me get the car keys — He whispered to him in a soft and worried voice before getting up running to his room, he imagined was to get some coats for them both.

He couldn’t see far from his own nose as Hyungwon left him there. his eyes were wet with salty tears that made his eyes itch, his whole mind feeling buzzy and the water made him feel the air around him way colder than it really was in Hyungwon’s warm house.

It had been three days since he was nailed to the bed thanks to his pretty soulmate. Hyunwoo was confused, to say the least. When he went back to work on Monday, his co-worker Sara had talked to him the same as ever, with sweet pretty smile, shiny eyes, and that smell of strawberry gum on her aura. Nothing out of the ordinary. Which was weird, very weird. He wanted to approach her and ask if she was really ok, ask if she didn’t have any problem during the weekend, he wanted to ask anything that could prove that what he was feeling that day wasn’t his imagination, that she was his soul mate and that she was only having a breakdown and in reality didn’t want to break connections with him.

On Tuesday she was the same, she winked at him through the windows of his office, gave him some gums, ate lunch with him at the cafeteria. Talked about everything and spent a great time together. That made Hyungwoo stop thinking about those stupid ideas that crawled on his mind.

On Wednesday he prepared himself to go visit a few clients, including his favourite, which was the last one he would go visit so he could spend some more time with the man.

He got a lot of papers inside his bag and put on his black jacket then his coat. He looked outside to see it was raining again. It had been raining nonstop since Sunday’s afternoon. He, at least, was prepared and brought with him a small umbrella to cover him from the water drops of the sky.

He took the bus out of where he worked and visited almost every side of the city as he visited some clients, who had to sign the new policies of the company.

It was almost four o’clock when he approached the last establishment he had to visit that day. It was a small informatic store in a small neighbourhood near some university campus. He dropped by some other times when he needed help with his computer, but over-all he only saw the store owner twice or thrice a year when the owner called them to talk in person about some publicity and marketing he wanted to improve.

He walked inside closing the umbrella. Inside was darker than outside, he knew they were probably closing, it was a bad time to come, they may have gone to eat or something. He looked a bit around and asked if there was anyone there. Even if it was a bad hour, he had asked beforehand if he could come to talk and was accepted, so they had to be waiting for him.

The lights turned on and a small figure came from the back of the store.

—Sorry, it is closed— The figure walked out so he could see the person completely.

It was a guy wearing a big hoodie that covered his body from the top to his knees almost, he was wearing ripped black tight jeans and had a school bag over his right shoulder. He had a disgusted face printed in his expression.

—Sorry, I came a bit late, can I talk to the manager? —The guy looked at him and raise an eyebrow.

—Can’t attend you now — he said simply and started to walk away and turned off the lights again — Come by when the store is open, and he will attend you.

—I had an appointment with him — The guy shrugged and walked past him. —look, I’m from “ _Gong's marketing”_ I talked to the manager and he said I could pass by at this time. — He was getting exasperated, he at least wanted to tell the guy to talk to the manager and tell him he passed by.

—That doesn’t change the fact that he won’t attend anyone now — The guy motioned his arms for him to walk out of the store.

—I know, but it is weird that he can’t—. Hyunwoo pouted to himself walking outside, the guy after him.

—My father is late on some other work that came up, don’t feel rejected dude.

Hyunwoo didn’t like how the kid because that was what the guy was: a fucking kid, talked to him.

—Well, then I will wait for him if you could call him or something and tell him — Hyungwoo said, as the kid wasn’t going away until he closed completely the store.

—Why should I do that? I don't know you, therefore, I owe you nothing.

—Have some respect kid, I'm your hyung, and your father works with me —Hyungwoo spat as the other looked at him with superiority.

—As. If. I. Fucking. Care— he answered

—Look, you are pissing me off. I don’t know what you think will happen if your father knows that you seem to like to be impolite towards their business partners.

Hyunwoo looked at the kid dead in the eye, he didn't even blink. Hyunwoo wasn't one who would get angry, it was very difficult for him to be, it was obvious he was lying, he wouldn’t do anything to the kid, but the other didn’t know that. He wasn’t even going to yell at the other, he was too good for that.

It wasn’t important to intimidate the kid at the moment, he knew that his own father wouldn't let him be that impolite. He wondered if he heard the conversation if he would punish his kid for this bad behaviour, but he wasn’t there.

—Where's your father? —He asked with a stoic look

—I don't know— the other responded, with less force on his tone.

—Then call him and tell him to meet me when he is available.

The small kid looked at him and then sighed, stretched his arms to let the sleeve slip up and looked at the time.

—I have class now, I can leave you at a café near here where he must go. He will probably eat there. You can meet him there.

He sounded, not defeated with the fact that he had to take Hyungwoo there because he was being more insistent than he would have been another time, but more worried about being late to class. Hyunwoo could understand him.

He guided him and in about 10 minutes, then stopped walking.

—He says he will be there in about 15 so wait or something—. He said while reading a message on the phone, he imagined was from his dad, telling him what he just said.

—Thank you —he smiled at the kid— hope it goes well on your classes…

—Changkyun, Im Changkyun, but whatever.

The kid blushed a bit and just waved off as he walked away towards the end of the street where another guy was and run to the kid to walk side by side.

Hyunwoo looked up to the café where Changkyun had left him and was surprised to see it was a cute cat café, that seemed nice even just when he could only see the reflections on the windows and the giant pastel pink sign on the front. 

He scratched his ankle chain pleasantly before entering the place. He felt great, it was great, something blossoming in his chest with anticipation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you doing these days?  
> Hope you are being careful and eating well, there is snow here and it is very dangerous be careful when going outside, and have fun with the snow


	6. Caramel Cappuccino

Korean literature, introduction to Japanese literature and Korean history. Kihyun had his head full of information. Three classes on the morning hit him hard. He was still in his Japanese literature class. The teacher talked on the front of the classroom about the importance of the mandatory readings of the semester, — even though they were in the middle of the semester—, 20 percent of the final grade. She gave them a list with the books they could choose to read, the paper now in Kihyun’s hands. He wasn’t really sure about what he wanted to read. He was ok with everything, from old philosophical theories to fantastic literature. Still, the one that caught his attention was in one of the middle where no one had written their names. Kenji Miyazawa’s “ _Night on the Galactic Railroad”._ He grabbed a pen and signed fast the paper next to the book’s title. “here I go library” he thought to himself as he passed the paper to the next student. At least he would have something to do in the evening.

Kihyun wasn’t very prone to the compulsory readings, but Japanese literature was one of his passions, and he was ready to read every-single-book in existence. The one he chose was pretty short, probably readable in a few hours. If he was lucky enough he could send Hyungwon a message and he would have the book prepared for him, so he only had to go home and read, or maybe stay with Hyungwon in his office, he would have to see how busy the tall one was.

When the teacher finished giving instructions on how the reading exam was, what they had to do, plus the questions that she would put in the drive for everyone to prepare. Kihyun took his bag and said goodbye to the students that sat next to him and who talked to him during class about legends and stories of the old Japanese literature, interesting. He walked out of the building putting the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, little raindrops were falling, nothing important or special, just a _moja tontos,_ (Spanish expression that refers to rain with really small drops and soft intensity) In the entrance stairs there was a figure sitting with the back turned to him. His phone buzzed.

It was Minhyuk. A guy he met in the library, who stubbornly sat in front of him every time he saw him there, it was a cute guy very funny who seemed to always have a smile on his lips. The message told him that the other was waiting for him there, at the faculty. Kihyun stepped down over the stairs to see the guy sitting there.

The guy looked up and smiled: Minhyuk. He opened his arms for Kihyun to hug him. Kihyun took one of his hands, still in the air and high five with him. Minhyuk wasn’t pleased but accepted it none the less. He was wearing his usual clothes, sport trousers and a hoodie, comfortable. He liked to be comfortable, he always said that the chairs at his faculty were the worst and that he had to walk to death to get there. At least he found out that walking all day with sport pants was way more comfortable than skinny jeans.

Minhyuk got up from the floor and took one of Kihyun’s sleeves and started to walk to the library.

—How was your day my little Hamtaro? — Kihyun sighed moving his arms so Minhyuk would stop grabbing him.

—Cool I guess— He didn’t even care about correcting him and tell him that he was no Hamtaro. Over the course of almost a year, Minhyuk called him nicknames and Hamtaro, and it didn’t matter how much he tried to stop him that it wouldn’t work, only encourage the smiley guy more.

— I had marine biodiversity and geophysical fluid mechanics, it’s been exhausting, really.

His shoulders fell down a bit, he seemed a bit off, but still, he smiled again to Kihyun while he ran to the library. Kihyun knew Minhyuk had been waiting for him at least an hour. Minhyuk knew his timetable from heart, as well as Kihyun, had to learn Minhyuk’s to keep up with him.

Kihyun at first didn’t like the blond elf that Minhyuk was. He was bothering him all day, didn’t let him study and made him angry and grumpy as he couldn’t do his chores and study for finals, but he learnt that Minhyuk wasn’t a bad person, he was far from being mean, and Kihyun thought that having a friend, even if he was a bit too enthusiastic was ok, it was great to not be alone all the time.

Minhyuk was intense, as intense as everything he did, very different from Kihyun, who tried to be simple and not very caring about anything, he just wanted to do his thing, end his studies and then study more and more, all day working on what he liked and nothing else. Minhyuk, on the other hand, always wanted to try new things or learn about everything he thought was mildly interesting. As if he didn’t have enough studying ocean’s sciences and wanting to master on marine biology. As if it was nothing, he was so freaking intelligent Kihyun sometimes wondered how Minhyuk could be interested in being friends with some middle-low literature and linguistic student.

—C’mon Kihyun! You are _slow_ — Minhyuk shouted at him from far as Kihyun moved his feet slowly.

—Ugh Min, you are the one who’s fast, it’s not me being slow! —Kihyun smiled at Minhyuk and run to his side at the door of the library.

—You know Kihyun— Minhyuk said as they walked on the street at lunchtime. Kihyun nodded — This term is being horrible. Kihyun! End my suffering.

He laughed and Kihyun followed as they reached the place they were going to. Minhyuk studied biology and wanted to specialize in marine zoology. It was something that Kihyun learnt meant the world to this little star that followed him around the library. Every time Minhyuk said he wanted to “end his suffering” was only a way of saying that he, himself, would end it by graduating and doing what he loved the most. It was… cute, on Kihyun’s eyes the determination he saw when they studied together, of course, Minhyuk had struggles, as any student would have. Kihyun felt bad that he couldn’t help Minhyuk studying, he really had zero idea about anything related to natural sciences.

Minhyuk grabbed his elbow and run to the door to enter. They went out of the library because he insisted that he was hungry and couldn’t concentrate with an empty stomach. So, there they were again in Jooheon’s cat café. At this rate, Kihyun’s money would be spent on the blink of an eye.

They entered waving hello to Jooheon who was attending a gentleman that was on his tactile cash register. He seemed a bit busy with it.

They went to sit near the window, on the table. The bags on the floor and them talking a bit waiting for Jooheon to be free to order.

Kihyun felt his eyes move on themselves, instead of looking at Minhyuk who was explaining something to him about wanting to go to the cinema with his friends, on the other side of the place, on another table, in the dark. There sat a guy, who looked conflicted, staring at the clock on his wrist and then at the two men by the cash register. Was he waiting for Jooheon? Did Jooheon even know this guy? Jooheon and he had almost the same group of friends, but he had never seen that dude around. His eyes fixed on him, as the other felt more nervous, stirred the coffee on his hands.

—Kihyun, are you listening to me? I feel disappointed, betrayed, used, how dare you? — Minhyuk dramatically called him putting a hand on his own chest and breathing loudly.

—I got distracted, not my fault you are a babbler — Kihyun smirked.

—Ugh, I’ll do as if I didn’t hear anything. — a pout appeared on his lips— Almost forgot! I was asking you if you want to come watch a film with me and Changkyun the friend I always talk about, ha-ha.

—Changkyun yeah, I know. I’m not sure if I want to go out these days, you know? — Kihyun moved his chain around his neck.

—C’mon, you never want to come to the cinema with us! Make this the exception or something! You are so boring sometimes…— Kihyun looked again to the guy who now was sitting with the gentleman. He wasn’t Jooheon’s friends, and that somehow relieved him? He didn’t exactly know.

Jooheon went to their table and asked what their orders were. Kihyun gave another look to the two on the back and then faced Jooheon who had his characteristic dimpled smile. Minhyuk called for a Cappuccino, Kihyun also felt like having it, but with a twist.

—Caramel cappuccino — he said, thinking about the guy there, who had a what looked like some naturally tanned skin. Something in his head told him to look at the other. To the point that Minhyuk realized that he was staring.

He didn’t say anything, but as Kihyun kept staring Minhyuk turned too to his right. And observed the couple sitting there, to him looked like some kind of business meeting. Minhyuk looked back to Kihyun and raised his eyebrow while putting his elbows on the table and his hands on his chin.

—Looking for something Kihyun? — he teased.

Kihyun rolled his eyes, but then stared at him again, moving his chain between his fingers. There was something in the air that felt different when looking at him, maybe because he looked cute from afar. The guy extended one of his hands to his left ankle while still talking to the man. Kihyun got to see a glint of a Soul chain.

Jooheon walked back to their table with three glasses of coffee on the black tray. He gave a glass to Minhyuk other to Kihyun, the third was for him. He sat and took a sip of the beverage.

—Isn’t Hoseok working today? —The blond asked.

Jooheon shook his head.

—He has to help at the shelter today— Minhyuk widened his eyes.

—He works on the shelter? Wow, that guy is awesome. His heart seems as big as his muscles— he said with an amazed tone on his voice. —Do you think he could help me volunteer there? I want to help the puppies too? — Minhyuk whined like a baby.

—I’ll ask him—. Jooheon shook Kihyun’s arm to get his attention.

Kihyun that was on dreamland by then looked startled at his friends and then nodded, didn’t know why, but just in case he was asked a question.

—What are you thinking about? You seem nervous? —Jooheon by the years started to notice that when Kihyun felt kind of nervous he tended to play with his soul chain.

—Nothing, nothing. No need to worry. —Kihyun took the first sip to his coffee and felt the hot liquid on the inside of his chest.

—Ok— Jooheon didn’t know if he should let it slip, he looked to Minhyuk trying to see the answer on his brown eyes, but there was nothing on there. —Do you want to have dinner at Gunhee’s?

Kihyun nodded. His gaze and mind again dozing off the conversation and into the guy. That was weird. Minhyuk asked again about the cinema. Kihyun nodded. Minhyuk laughed loudly. To the point the other men on the table far away looked at them and Kihyun had to turn quickly to his coffee. That caramel cappuccino, caramel as the tanned skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote slow burn, you sure didn't expect slow updates and slow story on its own. I'm really sorry, but that's how we going.  
> Hope you liked the chapter, any feedback is well received. I would love to know if you like the story, or if you would change something.
> 
> hope you have a cool weekend!!


	7. Unexpected meetings

Loud laughs were heard. On the other side of the café, the bartender and other three people were sitting, one of them turned his head abruptly as a blond one laughed. Embarrassment bright on his features as he thought that was caught staring. The one looking, Hyunwoo, was oblivious to his staring, trying to concentrate on his work and the person beside him, the old man. He didn’t notice the dark eyes fixed on him for five solid minutes. He couldn’t even start to discern the atmosphere that was surrounding him. An uncomfortable itchy feeling on his ankle had started a few minutes back when the other two had entered the place and sat on the table. The same tickly sensation he remembered he had a week prior when he was going to eat on his break from work. Still, he didn’t pay attention to it, thinking it was just another reaction from his soulmate, it could wait a bit. Maybe it meant that the strawberry girl missed him he thought to himself. So unaware, so insensible. He couldn't even start to imagine what reality was all about. How the itch had nothing to do with his soulmate, but for them to be just in front of him, looking when he was distracted.

Both sighed to themselves. Each on one side of the café.

One thinking he had a crush on a beautiful face.

The other not thinking at all.

The night was covered in clouds as per usual, the two of them were walking down a street, covered in fluffy clothing. One with his giant jean coat over another giant and a warm black hoodie that hanged to half his thigh, that were covered on light blue ripped jeans, on his feet some dark vans. His hair on his face, over his glasses and tickling his eyes. Kihyun looked at him, so proud of the little boy that had turned to be so perfectly handsome, not to say also responsible, respectful and full of kindness. Jooheon was perfect on his eyes and could not think about how much he loved him. His first friend ever, the one that stayed by his side, the one that supported him throughout all his bad moments. Never leaving his side.

At one point Hyungwon was added to the formula and loved Kihyun just as much as Jooheon and both of them also liked each other. Since they met, the three of them, the first time they were together, Jooheon and him knew Hyungwon was the third party they both craved. The last piece on their friendship, someone they would keep forever. Hyungwon felt the same about them. The perfect trio, the triangle shape, the perfect shape.

Kihyun looked at Jooheon’s profile while he opened the door of the restaurant and entered, keeping it open for Kihyun to also enter.

Gunhee waved at them from the kitchen where he was taking some food out to another table. This time the place was not that crowded. Some tables empty on the back of the place. Just where Kihyun loved to sit, underneath the photographs hanging from the wall.

Jooheon took the sit in front of him, as Kihyun sat. Gunhee was busy attending the rest of the tables, which gave the two guys time to choose from the menu. While Kihyun looked at his menu, Jooheon looked at him from his place, covering himself with the piece of paper. Jooheon was worried, just a bit, his heart told him that something had been wrong. From long ago, but he always dismissed it, thinking that if Kihyun didn’t bring it up there was nothing to talk about. But lately, it was affecting the other more. He was distracted, didn’t talk as always, even when it felt like he was trying to be himself around his friends.

He had already talked about it with Hyungwon, who could see Kihyun daily on the library. Sometimes leaving his work with the white faith that his friend needing company. Hyungwon could feel that every day passing Kihyun was leaving behind all his cheerfulness, his full smiles with those high cheekbones he had. His snorts while laughing, the way he moved, the way he studied, everything was turning grey in front of his friend eyes. While he wasn’t even conscious of these changes. Or maybe he was and didn’t want to tell anyone. Which hurt Jooheon’s fragile pride. Of course, it did, it hurt to see his friend losing all light surrounding him and having no idea why. Well, they knew that that horrible chain was mostly guilty, but how? Was there any explanation? Jooheon also felt hurt when his soulmate got angry or aroused. Of course, if burnt cold when he was sad. Obviously, he knew that Kihyun felt a hell burning on his insides every time, which was disgustingly happening at least twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. But it didn’t hurt less any time. And Jooheon hated the person on the other side, the person who made Kihyun suffer so bad. Even when they didn’t know what they were doing.

“I’ll have some fried chicken” Kihyun took Jooheon attention.

Jooheon smiled

“Of course you do” He laughed to himself, making Kihyun pout.

Gunhee got near them and smiled at them while high-fiving Jooheon and doing some weird hand gestures with him that Kihyun still had to understand. Gunhee took their order without much talking. Just how he usually was.

Kihyun turned his head up to stare at the photographs. Near him, one particularly beautiful that called his attention. Striking crystal blue waters running down some rocks, some plants surrounding the waters and grey shingles that covered the bottom. delicately brushing the green shiny leaves, rainy and pure. Cleaning the dirt from its surface. Beautiful, mesmerizing.

It made him remember those precious raindrops that crashed on the surface of the dark waters of the broken fountain.

After the food got to the table on Gunhee’s hands Kihyun thanked for the meal, and they started eating. Taking the fork and ready to dive in his giant fried chicken plate. While Jooheon sips from his ramen. Kihyun looked at him while he was distracted by the hot food on his mouth, panting with his mouth open, so hot. Kihyun smiled to himself thanking every God that could be up there in the skies that he got a friend like Jooheon to help him all his life, as well as Hyungwon, and maybe the too energetic Minhyuk, even when he didn’t know anything about him. Those days after the troubled he caused to Hyungwon while he stayed at his house made him conscious about his special treats and how he was a ballast to their relationship, how he had to be taken care of because of that shitty idea of a soulmate and how it didn’t let him live normally, as normally as his friends did, with their simples bracelets that stayed so simple as bracelets, no burnings, no glacial cold… nothing. How he wished he had that too! At least he wanted to meet that person, get them to slip their hands over his neck and take the closure and open it, to take away the stupid cold metal on his neck, take it away, forever! Even if they didn’t love him back, he wanted it to stop.

His eyes started to rain over his cheeks. No notice before, simply as a button, a click on his mind that sends the order to his eyes to let the salty water open its gates. He was quick to dry them up. Jooheon still too distracted to spot the crying face he had.

As he touched his eyes trying to see if they turned puffy, he moved his lenses and had to put it right back on its place. Another thing he didn’t want to remember. Even more when it was his secret, the only secret he wouldn’t ever tell anyone. Who would? Never in his life, he did meet a person that had left his soulmate behind to be with anyone else. He didn’t know about anyone living without their destined person, their other half if they didn’t have a chain. He was being tortured by the universe by having to lose his beloved brown coloured eyes because the other couldn’t see that he had someone waiting from them. The irony of it all.

“Hey, Kihyun. Are you with me?” his hand felt warm on the back, while his palm remained cold on his cheek, the blood rushing down.

Jooheon took his hand and placed it on the table, next to his.

“I... don’t know” he tried to look at his friend in the eyes.

“you are now, ok?” Jooheon pressed his fingers over his wrist “You are with me now.”

Jooheon looked completely concerned. He nibbled on his big lower lip. Kihyun’s heart punched his ribs with so much strength. The strength of the pain, of hating to see his friend worried, and taking the fun out of every situation he lived with them. Again: a ballast.

“What is it? Is it because of your soulmate? You can talk to me” Exasperation on his voice. It didn’t help Kihyun’s growing anxiety to hear Jooheon’s demands, even when they were well-intentioned. He nodded at the other, but looked away from him, to fix his eyes on the chicken. “One day you’ll find each other and everything about this will be in the past. You are so precious, whoever is it that is on the other side of this bond… I can assure you they’ll regret everything they’ve done so they can love you”

Kihyun felt his guts twist. He didn’t believe any of Jooheon’s words. Even if he met the person he was destined for, they’ll still would leave him by himself. They loved another person, meeting him wouldn’t change anything.

“No, maybe they won’t. They’ll probably hate me… I’m so weak…Maybe I'm not worth it, maybe I shouldn't be wearing this soul chain” Kihyun voice was broken, as broken as his soul.

One that didn’t know him could think he was being overdramatic, but his friend, who was almost crying seeing his little Kihyun like that, knew, he perfectly knew that Kihyun was anything but dramatic, and every word he was spilling was well thought. And that was the worse, because, on its tone, Kihyun let slip, that he also hated himself.

“No. Kihyun”. He whispered getting his chair closer to the table, closer to Kihyun. “This is a world of fantasy, people who aren't worth loving don't have a soulmate. They would never, ever have someone that loves them. A man that would hurt a woman, people who are hateful. Those are the ones who aren't worth it. You are so valuable. I know it won't matter if I tell you not to think so little about yourself, but… Remember that I don't need a chain attached to you to love you and protect you. I love you Kihyun. Hyungwon loves you… even Minhyuk loves you, even when you think he still just a hyper shiny ball that follows you around. We love you, and that person, whoever it is, loves you”

His hands were now almost melting on Kihyun’s skin, making them one from the strength Jooheon’s grip had over him.

It was almost closing time when Gunhee went over his table to let them know that he was leaving soon, but that they could stay a little more. Kihyun thanked him, but decided that it was best if they left already, he was really tired and a deep conversation with Jooheon was enough for the night, he wanted to go home, take off those stupid lenses that were brushing his eyes making it uncomfortable to blink. They took their coats and left the place waving goodbye to Gunhee who looked fondly at them to next resume cleaning the place.

Kihyun got home safely. He went directly to the bathroom where he left the brown lenses and then to his bed where he threw his body into the mattress. Taking his clothes off without getting up, and then putting on his pyjama, that he left folded under the pillow. Some short pants and a short-sleeve shirt. Both old but comfortable and perfect to get under the bed comforter. Ready to sleep.

In the back of his head the conversation, he had with Jooheon while they had dinner. He was loved, that’s what the other said, yes. He was loved, by the people at his side, and he loved them back. But, did it matter if he was worrying them? They shouldn’t have to keep up with his shit.

The shifted on the sheets. He didn’t turn any lights on, just the bathroom, not even his room. He was blind by the night and darkness of the room until his eyes got used to it. Some light came from the open windows, the light rain sounds lulling him to sleep, the breeze came from the outside, humid fresh air on his warm cheeks and lips. He drifts off to his dreams. As his chain warmed his neck little by little until the burning sensation was unbearable. Kihyun had already passed out by then, make it a nightmare on his sleep.

Hyunwoo is out again with his friend, who had some kind of attraction to go partying on the weekday, kind of weird, but acceptable, that was why he was there on his house while he had called some of his friends and even one or two co-workers, they were having a warm-up drinking wine and cola and talking about sports and work and things that he didn’t want to hear. The house was unknown to him, one of Seunghoon’s friends let them stay there before going to party how they should. They were sitting at the living room, a really small room with a simple old and awfully hard sofa a dining table with its respective chairs, a tv on the wall, some shelves and an armchair. He was on the floor sitting in between Seunghoon’s legs, just the perfect place to reach the table full of different kinds of alcohol and refreshments. He went for a beer, the only alcohol he liked to drink outside clubs, while Seunghoon got himself a tremendously big plastic cup, and filled it with some ice cubes, lots of wine and a bit of cola. His thighs were pressing Hyunwoo’s shoulders and his chest the top of his head as he bent to get to the table.

“Hey, pick that sugar for me,” he told Hyunwoo. Who extended his arms to get some sugar packets from the centre of the table.

“you’re gonna get wasted even before hitting the club,” He said giving it to him who throws it on the cup.

“Yeah, like, that’s the whole point” He answered laughing, squishing him a bit again, to which he laughed.

Hyunwoo kept on drinking and listening to the background music, getting dizzy with the time and the smoke clouds that came from the guys that were smoking.

One of them was smoking by the table and said something that called Seunghoon’s attention, which meant that it needed to also draw his attention. Seunghoon patted his head repeatedly. Hyunwoo left his fourth beer can on his thigh and looked at the other’s hand to push it kind of pissed off.

The guy talked very slow and wanted the others in the conversation to be truly listening. Seunghoon asked him to repeat again from the start as he put both his arms beneath Hyunwoo’s armpits and down to his waist, to pull him up into his lap, so he could hear what the other was saying. The eyes of the guys were bright, and he didn’t look a bit drunk. Hyunwoo didn’t know why Seunghoon was so interested in his story but he listened none the less while he rested his back on his friend’s chest.

The story began again.

“they say there is this legend, my grandmother told me when I was five. Never I thought that I would get to tell it again as I always believed it was all lies”

“you are getting poetic, get to the point” One dude sitting on his left interrupted him.

“I was trying to be dramatic, thank you!” He rolled his eyes and continue “well, my grandma told me that when she was little she was told about a legend or something, about the soulmate chains. She said that once, one man fell in love with a woman that he didn’t know, but they became friends, he fell like one who falls from a cliff, a long ride which led to no good. He went everywhere with her and did everything with her. He lost his friends and those who loved him didn’t understand why, if they were soulmates, as the man thought, why didn’t he take the soulmate ring in her right hand. It was because there weren’t soulmates.

After a few years she left him for her soulmate, she didn’t really love him after all. He was left alone, and his heart knew no other than the woman. He had loved the woman to the point that his true soulmate had to suffer the consequences of a terrible destiny, my grandma says that the soulmate died of the pain, and the man had to live in loneliness for the rest of his days, since then is a bad omen to fall in love with a ring of fire”

“ring of fire?” Seunghoon questioned.

“yes, Like the ones that appear during eclipses, when the moon goes over the sun and the sun like… has a ring of light surrounding the moon and looks like a ring, that thing.” He explained “I asked the same to my grandma, she says it’s because it makes you blind to what’s in front of you, while you look at the sun, thinking about its beauty it suddenly blinds you with its light and you lose to see every other beautiful thing in your life”

“That was deep,” someone said.

Hyunwoo got distracted thinking about the story while the rest talked about the gossip going, right, they didn’t believe it, neither did he, not at all. That his grandma told him stories didn’t make them real and even less will they affect him. Of course not, but well, taking in account that the girl he liked had a ring as a soulmate chain, and how sad she was all day and how his body had been nailed on its place while he worked, slept or walked on the street made him think that maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t his soulmate, still he had no proof —not that he did have others that proved that she was but he was very oblivious— in any case, he didn’t want to make a ball out of everything. Stories are stories and as stories, they stay. He wanted to finish that beer in between his hands that had been forgotten, then going out get wasted as he had never been and leave in the back garage every single trouble of the heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter comes with action. I promise


	8. Cat meets Rabbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting the story corrected by a beta reader? I don't know how to call it, but maybe I'll make subtle changes on chapters. Mostly grammar and simple errors, by now nothing about the story will be changed. So don't worry. If it did change I'll tell in advance.
> 
> Also if any of you are Spanish speakers or now Spanish I think I'll be posting other stories, mostly Monsta X related, in my language, believe I write better in Spanish so they are more detailed and deep. In case you want to look those to when I post them  
  
---  
  
First hour in the morning, the library was almost empty, as usual. An old library, thought well centred in the city, little by little it had lost its attractive. Walls that let through the cold in the most antique parts, without reform, didn’t seems like the perfect place to study. Like the basement, where Hyungwon’s office was.

Wearing his distinctive white shirt and his suit pants, Hyungwon hugged his coffee thermo against his chest to feel the warmth filter through the clotheing, and into his pale skin. He was working, classifying old archives and watching over those works who were used, who and why took them. It seemed more fun while in college, but now was more like lots of work, more weight on his shoulders.

He spent most of his day locked in the basement. Alone. The only office on the floor, his. No one went there unless they were looking for an extremely rare book, which didn’t happen often. Even when someone came to him it would be a college student that wouldn’t take more than 5 minutes of his time, or researchers that didn’t need any surveillance.

His skin was paler than when he started to work there, just after he finished his master. It had turn into an ill whiteness that made him look like a phantom, all thanks to his work that didn’t let him meet the sunlight during the day. It started to look like that since then, the library took every coloured tone of his skin. Every day while he typed in his old computer, he could see the blue veins on his hands. 

The lack of windows on that floor, and the old lights on the ceiling made him ill, his head hurt and made him forget that he was working, and that there were people that needed him to take things seriously and do it before deadlines. So, when he felt like sick there, he liked to go up the other floors and help his co-workers. Searching books with them, cleaning the tables, putting new stickers to old books. Everything he could. He even used Kihyun as an excuse to get out of there.

In any case, he was tired of being down there being embraced by the rancid smell of old books and the dampness of the walls, that he learnt to love many other times.

He locked the door and went upstairs two steps at a time. When he reached the ground floor, he could smell the fresh a watery breeze that came from the ajar door. The coffee machine was free, and he could get another coffee — He drank coffee more than any doctor would recommend— it already felt as if he was drinking it, drinking from the freedom in the air.

He had one of those little coffee cups that gave the machine, his hands taking it warmth. The entrance clear doors let Little light travel inside, as the darkness of the grey clouds didn’t let the sunlight through. He sighed looking outside, then he walked silently to the counter, where an old woman was typing fast on the keyboard. While he walked his hair stood on end as a rush of fresh air came over his back. As if a warning his bracelet tickled him, but he brushed it off, as it didn’t take much of his attention.

“How is it going?” The woman asked as he rested his coffee and arms on the counter. It smelled like cleaning products and made Hyungwon’s nose twitch at its strong essence.

“Late, but I’ll finish before the deadline” He said. For a second she stopped to look at him over her glasses. He looked back at her through his.

“Great” he turned his gaze to the keyboard “Is there something I can do, or someone I can help?” he almost whispered. She Heard him but turned back to her work. He leaned more into the wood counter.

“I don’t think so, there's not much to do right now” The door behind him swan open while he was starting to feel he would have to go back down there.

Both looked back at the door. Someone came stamping hard on the floor, unstable on its steps, it looked as if the tower of books on their arms was about to fall hard. Hyungwon automatically went to help them. His hands trembling trying to catch a great number of books.

“Let me help you,” He said already taking some books from the other hands.

“Thank you, very much” the other answered. His voice somehow Deep, and it clicked something on Hyungwon’s mind.

“Hoseok” He said looking at the buff guy that now peeped out from behind the rest of the books.

Hyungwon smiled at him, trying to look less dead. Leaving the books over the counter he examined Hoseok who put the rest next to the other tower. Smiling lightly. He palmed the flap of the book on the top to read its title. The woman looked at both of them from the other side.

“Hyungwon if you could attend your friend please.” She went back to typing, again fast.

Hyungwon was pleased and nodded instantly turning back to Hoseok. Who still smiled and tried to put every book perfectly square up the tower.

“What can I help you with?” He asked happily. Hoseok returned the smile, which didn’t reach his eyes, he looked perfect, in the middle, nothing of big smiles that covered everything, very philosophic, Hyungwon thought, _Aurea mediocritas._ Still, Hyungwon wondered why Hoseok could have taken so many books from the library at once.

“Jooheon wanted me to take all of these books from the café to donate them to the library. He told me to come to this one library in particular” At their side were almost 25 books, too many to even imagine how Hoseok managed to take them all at once.

“Then, we can take all of these to my office and classify them and see if we can take them, right?” He asked, already taking a lot of books. Hoseok took the rest and followed the tall guy down the basement.

It was cold down there, even when it was only the first basement, but it was a radical change from the ground floor. Everything looked grey down there. Which made Hoseok uncomfortable, but still followed him, and help him open the locked door to get inside. Where it still was cold.

“It is quite cold here” Hoseok commented leaving the books on the desk in the middle of the room. The only place where it seemed safe. The room was full of books and boxes full of papers. The only clean place being the table where Hyungwon had his computer and some notes.

“The heating doesn’t work down here, since they upgraded the old heaters” Hyungwon brushed off. Indicating Hoseok to sit in the chair on the other side of the table while he turned on the sleeping machine.

Silent took over the office, Hoseok didn’t felt bothered, or at least it looked like that from Hyungwon’s perspective. He wasn’t usually one with words, even less when he really wasn’t friends with the muscular guy who was in front of him playing with Newton’s pendulum that he had on the front of the table. Even if Hoseok didn’t mind the silence, he felt as if he was pressuring the other to stay in place. He really didn’t need to stay, donations were processed and asked for a name to specify who gave them to the library, but nothing more. Still he wanted company and kept the other from going, probably to work.

“You don’t need to stay, actually” he said while opening the book archive on his computer.

“Eh,” He looked confused, looking back at him with big eyes and the mouth ajar.

“This is more of a formalism” He motioned the papers on his desk “I need to classify, and in case there are any books that we can’t keep we’ll send them to any organization that will need them.”

He explained, Hoseok nodded as he talked.

“Maybe I can help you?” He wondered, taking off his coat, with a stoic look thrown over Hyungwon.

“Don’t you have to go back to work?” Hyungwon asked dumbfounded.

“Don’t worry, I can help you out” Smiling again he took one book in his hands and asked him what he had to do.

Hyungwon explained him everything and gave him one of the forms he had to manually fill in, so he could continue with the list on the computer. Thankful that the other decided to accompany him, not only that but help him. When they weren’t even acquittances. As Hoseok filled the papers one by one and then gave them to the other, at a certain moment Hyungwon felt a cramp on his pinkie. Hoseok apologized for it, and laughed it off as Hyungwon smiled widely, something inside both told them that it seemed more like a sparkle that made their hearts falter.

The pulsing sensation of the blood running through his head. The sound on his ears, the beating of his heart, the blood pumping. The hot burning in his skin and lungs. His eyes wanted to pop out, and his body felt numb, no movement. Impossible. Even when he tried his hardest to move.

He didn’t know where he was, just complete darkness. Where his eyes even open? He tried looking around, it was dark, he couldn’t see anything. A Choked sound escaped his lips when the pain increased. He felt his head explode, like his brain had become liquid, and needles penetrated his chest.

Soft light into his eyes, the breeze came from the left open window. The sounds of the rain relaxing his muscles, while the waterdrops travelled along the window’s crystal until they fall, making wet sound into the parquet making a little puddle. The smell of wet grass invading the room. Making him wake up from his nightmare.

Air hardly entering his nostrils while he opened ajar his eyes, looking crystalline, dead-like. Waking up after a dream was light but waking from this nightmare felt as if he were in a cloud, up in the sky. Making everything foggy and confusing.

He wanted to breathe. The air to fills his lungs, for the fresh breeze to fight again his clothes. He wanted air.

He blinked fast as the light hit his face. He was sleeping on his front, his head turned to the window. The air that came into the room was cold. Under his duvet he was feeling hot, and relieved that he was breathing now. Somehow lightheaded, maybe he wasn’t breathing while he slept, and now his brain didn’t have enough oxygen to work. Not enough to let him get up from that position.

And he didn’t want to get up. He wanted to stay there for as long as he could, in his little comfortable bubble. Out of dreamland, but not really inside reality. He could be protected from any bad outside that bed. He would be protected from those things that wanted to steal his breath. He didn’t want to get out of his house by then.

He wanted his head clear; his tears dry and his life to end. The pain of the fear on the other side of that connection didn’t make him bad, he was only lost, what was he supposed to do? Help his soulmate out? Probably their lover was helping them, getting them out of that painful fear that attacked Kihyun, and threatened his sanity.

He touched absently, as a reflex his neck, that felt sore, and dry, his skin burning from the pressure that cursed necklace put him through.

He was done, or at least that’s what he wanted to be. Still questioning the god out there why this happened to him. What horrible thing did he do during his short life to be attacked by such matters as losing his soulmate little by little.

He looked at the window and stayed there, in the same position, fresh air hitting his damp cheeks and blowing away his pain little by little, moving it around the room. Leaving him to his thoughts. Leaving him to see his own reflection on the windows, watching his red neck, his red cheeks, burning eyes, and worst, the grey line that decorated his iris.

There making fun of him right in one of those hit rock bottom moments. He turned around to face the wall on the other side of his bed. And cried, until sleep took him in his embrace to calm his head and his heartache.

He went with Seunghoon and his friends out to some clubs. When they were already drunk, they entered one that seemed fancy, coloured neon lights at the entrance signalling where to go. Down the actual club everything looked too clean, crystal wall and doors, and plastic chairs, a giant dance floor, fancy bartenders and VIP rooms, everything screamed I’m rich. They didn’t look like the rest of the people there, but who cared when didn’t matter rich or poor they all wanted to get drunk and fuck.

While the guys went for a table on one of the sides of the bar, Hyunwoo walked behind Seunghoon between people. Suddenly a hand took hold of his wrist and pulled him from his track behind the others. At first, he stumbled as he lost balance. He was kind of scared, what was he going to be kidnapped? That easily? No, why did he even think of that? The hand let go and then pushed his shoulders to make him turn.

In front of him a girl: little, way shorter than him, long black straight hair and long bangs over her eyes. Her smile made his heart flutter, and his mind to be dizzy, way more than it was already.

“Hi Woo” She said taking distance.

“Hi” He answered shocked to see her there, with a pretty beige dress, way too innocent to be worn at a club on the weekday.

“How are you doing?” She asked moving far from where Hyunwoo’s group was. He let her guide him to walking behind her steps, like a little dog with their owner.

He wasn’t really on his senses, but he knew the situation was weird, at least as how he saw it. Too fast, things were going too fast. She never talked to him outside work and suddenly she was guiding him through a club that she seemed to know very well.

“I… fine, with some friends” He answered turning to see where they were. She put her hands on his neck and up she went to his cheeks.

It burned like hell, he felt the tickling on his cheeks and the hot blood travel over his neck to his ears. His eyes widened as she turned, Standing, in the tip of her toes, steadying herself with his shoulders to reach his ears. Pretty pink lipstick, rounded lips against his earlobe.

“I never see you outside work. Maybe I should have talked to you about going out together before” she said as she moved her hands to his arms and squeezed the hard muscles. Hyunwoo didn’t know what to do with his hands. He was beyond surprised by the energy she gave off.

He only blabbered something about not going out that much, that he was only with a friend, nothing extraordinary. She walked back to separate them and smiled softly.

“Don’t worry Hyunwoo, I like party boys” She bit her lip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, sorry I've been out for so long.  
> This thing of being in quarantine is horrible.  
> I lost track of time and didn't get to finish anything. Even worse, I changed the story path, and now I have to reconnect vital points for the story to look at least a little put together.
> 
> I'm thankful that you are here, and sorry I made you wait. 
> 
> Hope you are all okay.
> 
> Eukkyun


	9. Note

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The actualization of the note

Hi again!

I don't know if the notification of the changes in this chapter will reach you, but then again, here I am.

I wanted to inform you that I already finished my exams, and only have to move out of the flat where I am currently living in, which isn't really stressing so I will be able to continue writing. 

It happened that sometimes I would look up the story and find some issues with it. This time off helped me detach from the story and see it with a different perspective.

Some of the more noticeable issues were with the plot, and these will be a problem in the long run of the story. So, before I post any more chapters I will try and reorganize what I already have written. This means that I will definitely change chapters from 1 to 8, maybe even merge some of them to make them longer. We will see.

Anyways, I would inform you if there are major changes, as conversations, character characteristics, as well as events on the story, even if they are not of the main focus. 

Thank you all for your patience. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want you can contact me through cc if you want to know anything about the story or character backstory, or just want to say hi [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/eukkyun)


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